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Alien Vs. Predator
The two classic creatures don't make a love connection.

Starring: Sanaa Lathan, Lance Henriksen, Raoul Bova, Ewen Bremner, Colin Salmon
Director: Paul W.S. Anderson
Screenwriters: Paul W.S. Anderson, Shane Salerno

Reviewed by Chris Ching

It doesn't rise to the artistic heights of the Alien franchise' best installments nor does it pack the uber-popcorn punch of the first Predator, but AVP remains a fun - although completely brainless - summer flick. On the creature feature spectrum, I'd put it right up there alongside underachievers Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection and certainly above the forgettable Predator 2. While Director Paul W.S. Anderson does nothing to shed his movie hack reputation, he knows what the people want synthesizing a veritable greatest hits of Alien and Predator hallmarks:

• The Alien Queen returns
• A female lead
• The Predator "Let's Fight" Stance
• Victims trapped in Alien Slime waiting to be Face Hugged
• Air Duct like chases à la Tom Skerrit in the first Alien movie
• The Predator ship dropping off the hunters
• Chest burstings galore and plenty of Alien second jaw displays
• An isolated location with no help
• Death by Alien tail impalement
• The Predator unmasking with those cool air release tubes
• A team of cocky adventurers f**king with things they really shouldn't be.

"You PROMISED You'd CALL!!!"

Unfortunately, all these cool aspects of the two franchises hang from a slight story and even flimsier performances.

Set on present day Earth, a massive underground temple is discovered in Antarctica. In a sequence ripped off from Jurassic Park, a team bankrolled by multi-millionaire businessman Charles Bishop Weylind quickly assemble and travel to the icy destination for what is believed to be the greatest archaeological find in history. That it is - but it's also an Alien breeding ground used by the Predators. Every 100 years, those ugly motherf**ckers (to borrow a phrase from Arnold) come to earth, energize their frozen captured Alien Queen, and hunt her Alien spawn for ritualistic sport. The humans find themselves caught in the middle.

Clearly how the three species come together isn't important for Anderson since the perfunctory beginning has all the kick of a USA channel movie. He's more concerned with the big showdown itself which he pulls off with pinache. The film's last forty five minutes are a fanboy's wet dream, and a few sequences even achieve the excitement level of the Colonial Marine/Alien battles from Aliens.

Sigourney Weaver's Ripley from the Alien franchise is the strongest female action lead in movie history. It's a tough act to follow, and Sanaa Lathan isn't up to the challenge. The rest of the characters are just that... "characters"...or perhaps more specifically, just hot lunches needed for the creatures to kill. Ewen Bremmer alone gains the empathy of the audience, and he gets wasted half way through the movie!

If you're a not a fan of either franchise, the chances are high you won't be too bowled over by AVP. Yet, if you're the type who understands the significance of who Charles Bishop Weylind is or love Predator vision, then you'll be pleased with this long awaited matchup between two of cinema's greatest monsters.

Now here's hoping Nurse Ratched Vs. Annie Wilkes gets the greenlight!

Rating:

(2 1/2 out of 4 stars)

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