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Cold Mountain

Starring: Nicole Kidman, Jude Law, Renee Zellweger, Donald Sutherland, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Natalie Portman, Kathy Baker
Director: Anthony Minghella

Reviewed by Lise Ching

The only thing more predictable than the plot of Cold Mountain were the obligatory Golden Globe nominations for the all-star cast. Don't get me wrong, this was not a bad film. It just wasn't a particularly good film, either. It felt longer than seemed necessary for a movie with a plot of "will he make it home safely?" If it weren't for the fact that Jude Law is so damn pretty, I would have begged my Groom to let us leave long before the credits rolled.

I must admit, the battle scenes were impressive. There were plenty of opportunities to catch the action through partially-covered eyes; clothes bursting off bodies as explosions devastated countless young men. However, if you see this film expecting to be riveted by a cinematic retelling of the deadly battles that rocked our country, you will certainly be disappointed. This is a love story, or at least it tries to be.

The entire story hinges on the believability of an instant love connection between Ada (Nicole Kidman) and Inman (Jude Law). Kidman is a terrific actress, certainly, but many of her roles maintain an air of distance and a certain amount of emotional armor. Excellent for films like The Others, but when one has the opportunity to openly lust for Jude Law, one should give it all she's got.

The supporting cast infused new life into the film, but mostly from listening to other moviegoers mumble, "Hey, there's Phoebe's brother," "Hey, it's Queen Amidala!" and "Hey, there's that guy from that movie." (Giovanni Ribisi, Natalie Portman and Phillip Seymour Hoffman, respectively.) Their performances, and those provided by Kathy Baker, Donald Sutherland and others, enhanced the film, but director Anthony Minghella never let their lights shine too long. After all, we had to find out if he will "make it back to her."

In lieu of dissecting the entire plot, I will leave you with a series of lessons learned and unanswered questions from Cold Mountain:

Things you will learn: Always believe what magical wells tell you. Renee Zellweger is absolutely deserving of a shiny award this year, but not for this film. Thumb-like nipples are part of the genetic makeup of women from Australia.

Unanswered questions: How did the North manage to dig such precise rooms underground the Confederate forces with which to blow their enemies to bits? Why does the child at the end have "Nicole Kidman" hair (long, red ringlets) when Nicole's character does not? Who let Jack White from the The White Stripes into this picture?!

Rating: (2 out of 4 stars)

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