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Gigli DVD

Year Released: 2003
Starring: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, Christopher Walken, Al Pacino, Justin Bartha
Director: Martin Brest

Gigli: Bad as They Want It To Be
Bennifer was wrongly blamed for this bomb, but it was still a bomb.

Reviewed by Kevin Cunningham

The Pitch: A low level mob crony (Ben Affleck) is ordered to take the mentally handicapped brother of a fed hostage, while another mob crony (Jennifer Lopez) is order to make sure the other doesn't screw it up. In Other Words: Rain Man meets The Mexican without Brad Pitt and a much better looking gay hitman than Tony Soprano.

Some days I wonder if media intentionally builds up and over exposes certain superstars so that they can become universal butts of jokes and enemies of pop culture in general. The union of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez has certainly become one such entity. Most regular people are sick at the mere mention of their names, and critics reacted similarly at the first joint output of the two, Gigli. While Ben and Jen were the lightning rod for much of the flak for the flop, they didn't deserve it. This film was destined for flophood long before the twosome showed up on set.

Writer/Director/Producer Martin Brest's script banked on the comedic certainty of several basic assumptions, none of which actually worked. This left him with a movie that lacked the charm of his career making movie, Scent of a Woman. Among the assumptions:

That the mentally retarded are, no matter what, funny. For some reason, Brest believes that the mentally handicapped are automatically funny. Like monkeys. Monkeys, in whatever role they have been used in in movies, have always been entertaining. Even unintentionally (see Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes). The use of the handicapped in this role, while occasionally being successful (There's Something About Mary), can also become insulting. That's the case here, where the person in question, a very handicapped guy with a propensity towards Tourette's Syndrome, is neither funny nor poignant.

That surprise cameos raise a film's entertainment value. Cameos are nice, but they won't do anything if the actors involved don't have anything interesting to do. Christopher Walken shows up for a few minutes early on, but is neither threatening, spooky or comedic. He's just there. Later, Al Pacino shows up in a role barely reminiscent of his best mob roles. He's slightly more effective , but still hardly entertaining enough to save anything else about this film.

That an exaggerated accent makes a character a more believable mob gopher. Ben Affleck has a natural Bostonian accent, but the accent he sports in this film is a gobbled mess of Boston and the Bronx, something that should naturally offend both fans of the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox. All in all, it leaves us wanting to laugh at his character, rather than with him: a bad thing for a main character in a movie.

That being in the mob is automatically cool. Again, not every movie can make it's characters into Mr. Pink.

None of these, well, except for the accent, are problems that can be attributed to Ben and Jen. Unfortunately, they simply signed onto a sinking ship, and couldn't save it. The script isn't as dumb as it seems to be in it's first hour; by the time the climax comes around, it's mopped up what appear to be terrible plot holes. The trouble is, by that time, no one cares any more, and certainly not me.

This isn't to say that Gigli didn't have any bright points. Jennifer Lopez's performance isn't bad, all things considered. She especially strikes a nice middle ground between nervousness and confidence when speaking to Al Pacino's mob boss, a distinction many actresses would miss without caring. She also has an excellent monologue in the middle of the film, discussing which is more attractive: the male or female sex organs. Such a monologue should become a staple of young actresses everywhere, considering how few people have seen this film.

It's not like Ben and Jen are terrible actors. Both have given excellent performances in their careers, Ben in Chasing Amy and Dogma, and Jen in Selena and U-Turn. What may be the true litmus test of their abilities together will be their next film, Jersey Girl, not coincidentally directed by Kevin Smith, who has coached both of Affleck's previously mentioned performances out of him. As for the flop known as Gigli, it deserves to only be treated as a curiosity, one of those films you should rent only to see just how bad it actually was.

DVD Extras: Gigli is possibly the first Hollywood movie produced in the 21st century that is released on DVD with an utter lack of extras or special features. No deleted scenes. No commentaries. The only non-VHS experience is watching the this movie dubbed in French, or with subtitles in French, Chinese, Korean and Thai. Considering J-Lo's considerable appeal in the Hispanic community, the lack of Spanish subtitles is even more confusing. Some sort of commentary excusing the film would've been nice, or at least amusing.

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