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Honey: Sweet and Far Too Syrupy
Jessica Alba shakes her groove thang, and no one gets stirred.

Starring: Jessica Alba, Lil' Romeo, Mekhi Phifer, Zachary Williams, Missy Elliott
Director: Bille Woodruff

Reviewed by Kevin Cunningham

The Pitch: A girl from the projects dreams of becoming a big time dancer and choreographer, and wants to use it to help the neighborhood kids stay away from drugs and the thug life. In Other Words: Flashdance gone hip hop, with dashes of Boyz From The Hood and The Barbershop.

It's movies like this that make me cry. Not because of the obvious and driven home sentimentality of this film, but because of Jessica Alba's career path.

Jessica Alba had done a very good job of rising up the Hollywood career road. Beginning her career with background parts in Camp Nowhere and Disney fodder like P.U.N.K.S., and memorable supporting parts in Idle Hands and Never Been Kissed, she'd gotten her big break starring in Dark Angel, was being directed by James Cameron, and was the 'It' girl of the 21st Century. 3 short years later, Dark Angel got cancelled after a terrible sophomore season, the one movie she took time off to film went straight to video (The Sleeping Dictionary), and every ounce of heat she once had has gone.

And after all this, she has landed in Honey. Honey isn't really as bad as it seems. It's written as if it should be a blatently promotional star vehicle for someone along the lines of Beyonce Knowles. Having Miss Alba in the lead role gives the film slightly more legitimacy. It's the perfect role for her, as she's playing the exact same character she's done since Dark Angel: Very sassy with a touch of sensitivity. The good news is she is very good in role, and obviously applied herself to the role. Her dancing is better than anything I've seen in most hip hop videos in the last year, and she's sporting the hottest abs seen since Janet Jackson was in her "That's The Way Love Goes" stage. Unfortunately, she's the bright spot in this film, surrounded almost by as many singers as other actors (though only Lil Romeo shows up repeatedly. He's no actor, not yet).

"ALL TOGETHER NOW... say up jumped the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat!"

Outside of Miss Alba, this film delves into the clichÈs of both dance and hip hop films. On one side, the struggle of the young, inexperienced dancer fighting through numerous obstacles but still staying true to herself is what we've seen in every movie from Flashdance to Save The Last Dance. (I'm hoping that Jessica Alba's hair was a tribute to Jennifer Beals from Flashdance. I can't think of any other reason for it.) And the hip hop clichés fly through this movie, particularly standing on the multiple appearances by various hip hop stars moonlighting for the free publicity. Ginuwine, Jadakiss, Sheek, Rodney Jerkins, and even Missy Elliot appear for mere moments at a time. For good measure, Blaque shows up during the credits to get in their own appearance. It doesn't help.

And it certainly isn't helped by the hip-hop mentality this film takes. Even though the film is centered around dancing, it's still treated by the filmmakers the way good art is treated by the Upper East Side of New York City: it's something the notice for a good ten seconds at a time, and then forgotten. The editing minimizes all the dance sequences before the big finale to quick clips, just like music videos do today. In the end, it eliminates any appreciation we could have for a beautiful dance form. The truth is, the hip hop community would do well to take the advice of the film's underlying moral, "Keep it Real." Hip hop hasn't been keeping it real since the early '90's, and now rivals '80's hair rock in the element of pointless style and glitz.

In the end, it's not really the fault of the performers in miscast roles that this film stays flat; it's the surpriseless script. When the biggest laugh the audience gets is the over exposed line of Missy Elliot saying "You need to call MC Hammer, and let him know you're still in his stuff" that was seen in the trailer plastered everywhere, you know the script is missing something. The main storyline is everything you saw in the trailer. The subplot involving the neighborhood kids is everything you've seen before in other movies. And the dialogue is too busy explaining the hip dialogue to us to actually use it right. Please, I may be a white boy, and the only hood I've got going on is on a sweatshirt, but I don't need the phrase "Ducking like a Bobblehead" demonstrated to me for 15 seconds on screen, especially if we just saw it anyways.

The one other actor who makes any kind of impression in this film is Mekhi Pfifer in his nice guy role, but even his spot is bland. He plays the kid who got out of the 'hood by, believe it or not, owning a barbershop. Missy obviously forgot to tell Mekhi to get out of Ice Cube's stuff.

The extras are surprisingly full on this disc. Aside from the commentary, which is pretty decent, there's a number of extra videos, including a tutorial on how to dance from one of the choreographers. For people who enjoy hip hop and dance, this DVD has plenty to watch outside of the movie.

Overall, Honey is not a terrible movie, it's just a terrible cliché. Still, what can be salvaged from it is by a young actress who may just not be too late to salvage her career.

Rating	Film:(2 out of 4 stars)
	Extras: (3 1/2 out of 4 stars)
	Overall: (2 1/2 out of 4 stars)

Does Honey get your toes a tappin' and your rump a...er..rumpin'? We'll here's a rundown of Downtown Julie Brown (we hope) approved dance movies. Wubba Wubba Wubba! Compiled by Chris Ching Note: Classics like Singin' In The Rain and Grease are omitted as they're more musical than dance movie. You gotta draw the line somewhere.   Saturday Night Fever (1977)   On the surface, it's a glorification of the disco era in all its polyester greatness, but at its heart, Saturday Night Fever is a universal story of a guy who wants to better his lot in life. He works in a mundane hardware store, his older brother is the family favorite, his Dad hits his intensely labored over hair, but when Tony Manero is on the the dance floor of the 2001 Odyssey Discotheque he's KING. John Travolta's dancing (especially his triumphant heaven finger pointing move) and wonderful, gritty acting style made Fever both a hit at the box office and a cultural touchstone. Watching Travolta's incendiary performance makes one yearn for him to take on a more worthy role than the crap he's done lately. The Bee Gees provided the bulk of the memorable soundtrack- "Staying Alive", "You Should Be Dancing", "Night Fever", "How Deep Is Your Love"- but were criminally forgotten when the Oscar nominations for Best Song were announced. Big Dance Number: Quite a few contenders, but the early sequence with Tony taking a solo spotlight on the dance floor to "You Should Be Dancing" gets my vote. As 2001 DeeJay Monti would say, "A good trip. Feel the music, baby." Fanboy Trivia: During the filming of Fever, Travolta's girlfriend Diana Hyland died of cancer. Hyland, several years older than Travolta, had actually played his mother in the TV movie The Boy In The Plastic Bubble. Flashdance (1982)   Just as much of a time capsule for the early and mid 80s as Saturday Night Fever was for the late 70s, Flashdance was the first MTV style movie where each scene seemed like its own separate music video. Alex Owens is a welder by day and an erotic dancer by night. Like Tony Manero, she just wants a chance at the big time. In Alex's case, it's being accepted to a prestigious dance academy. Does this Pittsburgh steel worker have what it takes? You bet your off-the-shoulder sweat shirt and leg warmers she does! Jennifer Beals does a convincing job as the street smart but lovable Alex although all of her dancing was done by a double. Flashdance was also the first salvo shot by the Jerry Bruckheimer/Don Simpson movie making machine who later went on to score with 80s hits Top Gun and Beverly Hills Cop. Big Dance Number: Her movie climaxing tryout for the dance academy is the boogie version of a Rocky fight- success is unsure in the beginning, but exhilarating inevitable by the end. Fanboy Trivia: Demi Moore came "this close" to landing the starring role of Alex. Footloose (1983)   Everybody cut, everybody cut! Kevin Bacon stars as Ren, the hip city kid who moves to a conservative (fancy that) Midwest Town. The problem? Aside from the Dairy Queen being the cultural center of town, dancing is illegal and Ren loves to... dance. He clashes with the town's puritan ways and with his girlfriend's domineering preacher pop (John Lithgow in a Pacino worthy, scene chewing performance). Footloose is also noteworthy for a performance by Chris Penn before his ass exploded to freakishly gigantic proportions. Big Dance Number: A frustrated Ren footloosing all over an empty warehouse in an act of anger, defiance, and release i.e. the video moment that haunts Kevin Bacon everyday of his life. Get that kid some Ritalin! Fanboy Trivia: Jump back! Scary as it may sound, Riverbank in Stanislaus County is the basis for the town in Footloose. In the mid-nineties, the law against public dancing was repealed. Dirty Dancing (1987)   Who would've thought a movie about a girl finding love and her inner Ginger Rogers at a 1963 Jewish holiday camp would spark box office gold? Obviously not most of Hollywood as Dirty was turned down by nearly all the major studios. Their loss, as it became the most successful movie of 87. "Baby" (a pre-nose job Jennifer Grey) travels with her family to Kellerman's, a vacation resort nestled in the Catskills. She meets bad boy dance instructor Johnny Castle who teaches her how to dirty dance and cleanly love. Unfortunately, Jerry Orbach as Baby's Dad thinks she a meshugeneh for wasting her time with the "loser" Johnny. Big Dance Number: All of Kellerman's discover the ramifications of putting baby in a corner. Johnny leads what can only be called a dance assault on the entire resort population when he and his dancing troupe hijack the end of summer talent show. Soon everyone is "having the time of their lives". Most importantly, Baby's Dad realizes Johnny is good enough for his baby- even if he isn't circumcised. Fanboy Trivia: Screw Atkins! Dirty Dancing can help with weight loss! An obese woman reportedly slimmed down by going to see the movie instead of succumbing to the urge to snack.

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