:: Reviews ::
Movie Review: Finding Neverland
I do believe in fairies! I do believe in fairies! (11/27/04)
Movie Review: Alexander
It's a way too easy putdown to make, but it's impossible to resist... here goes... Alexander... THE CRAP! (11/27/04
Movie Review: National Treasure
Nicolas Cage has an Indiana Jones fixation in this derivative but enjoyable action adventure. (11/22/04)
Movie Review: Seed Of Chucky
Grab your blankies Chucky fans! Our reviewer makes apple sauce out of your hero's latest screen venture. (11/18/04)
Movie Review: Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason
The wanton sex goddess is back! (11/13/04)
Movie Review: After The Sunset
Don't let two hours of your life be stolen by this weak heist pic. (11/13/04)
Movie Review: The Polar Express
Roll up! Roll up! For the Magical Mystery Tour! (11/13/04)
Movie Review: Ray
After watching this bio-pic, one thing is certain. Jamie Foxx... your star is born. (10/31/04)
Movie Review: Saw
Cutting your foot to spite your leg never felt so good! (10/30/04)
Movie Review: The Grudge
Japanese director films new version of his horror movie for an American audience. Leaves scares in Tokyo. (10/22/04)
Movie Review: Team America: World Peace
Pull the strings! The creators of South Park take the art of puppetry to new heights of innovation and new lows of degradation. (10/11/04)
Movie Review: Taxi
Jimmy Fallon crashes his movie career before it even leaves the garage. (10/11/04)
Movie Review: Shark Tale
Finding Nemo it ain't! Dreamworks stumbles with this fish stink fish movie. (10/5/04)
Movie Review: The Forgotten
Amber Waves herself, Julianne Moore, shines in this so so thriller. (9/25/04)
Review: Sky Captain & The World Of Tomorrow
Jude Law helms this visionary marriage of live action and computer generated images. Oh, and Angela Jolie wears an eye patch. (9/19/04)
DVD Review: The Punisher
Paging Dolph Lundgren. Dolph Lundgren, your presence is requested. (9/14/04)
Review: Resident Evil: Apocalypse
They're back from the dead... again. (9/11/04)
Review: Paparazzi
They live to shoot the stars! (9/4/04)
Review: Vanity Fair
New version of classic novel is all Reese's piece. (9/9/04)
Review: Intimate Strangers
Zut Alors! A sex, funny film! (9/5/04)
Review: Hero
A martial arts classic is born with this Jet Li four star action spectacular. (8/30/04)
Review: Anacondas The Hunt For The Blood Orchid
This weak sequel lacks John Voight, Cube, Jennifer Lopez's tush, and most importantly, lotsa anacondas. (8/27/04)
Review: Without A Paddle
It's Deliverance with laughs and without squealing pigs! (8/24/04)
Review: Exorcist The Beginning
It scimps on pea soup vomit projectiles, but this prequel does The Exorcist name proud. (8/23/04)
Review: Garden State
Queen Amidala herself Natalie Portman shines in this new romantic comedy. (8/23/04)
Review: Open Water
Listen up pleasure seekers... sharks and vacation don't go together. (8/21/04)
Review: Alien Vs. Predator
The two classic creatures don't make a love connection in this brainless but still fun flick. (8/14/04)
DVD Review: The Best Of Triumph The Insult Comic Dog
This DVD from history's greatest hand puppet is a MUST OWN!. (8/10/04)
Review: Maria Full Of Grace
It's whole budget probably doesn't even equal the catering fees for Spider-Man 2, but this independent film is the summer's best movie. (8/9/04)
Review: Collateral
Tom Cruise plays a bad guy! Film at 11!. (8/6/04)
Review: The Manchurian Candidate
It's the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful remake I've ever known in my life. (8/1/04)
Review: The Village
M. Night Shyamalan goes into the woods thankfully not to see Grandma. (8/1/04)
Review: Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle
Funny, but hardly a classic of Le Cinema De Pot. (8/1/04)
Review: Catwoman
Yeah. Someone forgot to clean the litter box. (7/28/04)
Review: De-Lovely
Whoa! This Cole Porter bio-pic is the first Ashley Judd vehicle not to feature the actress as a tough heroine mentored by a black man and caught in a mysterious web of thrills and chills. (7/26/04)
Review: The Bourne Supremacy
Matt Damon is Bourne Again. Ba-dump-dump.
(7/23/04)
DVD Review: The Dreamers
It's Last Tango in Paris for the iPod generation. (7/18/04)
Review: I, Robot
Will Smith moves from kicking E.T's ass to C3PO's. (7/18/04)
Review: Coffee & Cigarettes
To the makers of this movie we salute you! You've just been awarded our WORST REVIEW EVER. (7/16/04)
Review: Napoleon Dynamite
This revenge of a nerd is destined to become a cult classic.
(7/15/04)
Review: The Clearing
He may be 104, but Robert Redford still has sting in this taut, low key thiller. (7/15/04)
Review: Anchorman
You will laugh your ass off. Film at 11. (7/12/04)
Review: King Arthur
It may not have the the Knights who say "Ni!", but this latest stab at the Arthurian legend is worth your $8.50. (7/8/04)
DVD Review: The Butterfly Effect
Ashton Kutcher punk'd us all: the kid can actually act. (7/8/04)
Review: The Corporation
This new documentary examines the institution many of us work and puke in. (7/6/04)
Review: Baadasssss!
Mario Van Peebles plays his father in this chronicle of the birth of blaxploitation cinema.
(7/1/04)
Review: Spider-Man 2
Critics are calling it the greatest super hero movie of all time. They're wrong.
(6/30/04)
Review: Fahrenheit 9/11
The man who went after General Motors, Nike, and Moses, now takes on the "W" in this powerful new film.
(6/25/04)
Review: Garfield The Movie
Yeeuckk! Throw this movie out with the cat litter!
(6/20/04)
Review: Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
Find a nice red, rubber ball and peg anyone who chooses not to see this movie. (6/18/04)
Review: The Terminal
Hanks & Spielberg reunite for Bosom Buddies The Movie... NOT! (6/18/04)
Review: The Stepford Wives
It definitely isn't the flashiest or highest budget film to hit the theaters this summer, but it's sure to provide a few laughs and, just maybe, get a few brain cells firing. (6/11/04)
Review: The Chronicles of Riddick
Everyone's favorite monosyllabic strong guy is back in (pitch) black!.
(6/11/04)
Review: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
The series (and its stars) mature with HP Movie #3. (6/5/04)
Review: Saved!
Let me recommend in the strongest terms, that every Californian see this movie. (5/31/04)
Review: The Day After Tomorrow
What is the recipe for a disaster flick? It's not too complicated. Just put in a sprinkle of central characters, at least one high-ranking and inept politician, a man or woman who acts as the lone voice of reason, and of course, a cataclysmic disaster, and you have The Day After Tomorrow. (5/29/04)
Hallelujah! Life Of Brian Comes To Modesto
Modesto is one of the few cities in the country currently showing the 25th Anniversary print of the classic Monty Python's Life of Brian. (5/29/04)
DVD Review: The Return Of The King
My preccciooous I wantsss it, but maybe I should waitss for the Extended Edition in November. Arrrggggghhh, what to do my precioussss? (5/28/04)
DVD Review: Club Dread
Club Dread is one of the more serious horror films in a while, and that is just boring. (5/28/04)
Review: A Day Without A Mexican
Let me recommend in the strongest terms, that every Californian see this movie. (5/27/04)
Review: Super Size Me
After watching Super Size Me, I think I'd rather have a root canal than answer the call of the Golden Arches. (5/24/04)
Review: Fog Of War DVD
For all the political furor going on over Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 911, this Oscar winning documentary has been unfortunately ignored by the movie going public. (5/24/04)
Review: Shrek 2
The creators of Shrek 2 spent so much time coming up with cool pop culture references they appear to have forgotten to whip up a new story. (5/21/04)
Review: Torque DVD
A motorcycle racer comes home to make right on old debts, and gets framed for the murder of another motorcycle's gang member. Motorcycle mayhem ensues. (5/19/04)
SJ Fanboy Puts A Stake Through The Heart Of Van Helsing
Van Helsing lives up to every bad rule of Hollywood filmmaking excess and unashamedly puts it out there in all it's glory, if you can call it that. (5/19/04)
Review: Miracle DVD
Usually, it's not until a true sports moment has been put in a movie that people try to add all sorts of subtext. The true story behind Miracle needs no such additions. (5/17/04)
Review: Troy
Brad Pitt leads the ancient world's greatest fight club into battle. (5/15/04)
Review: Chasing Liberty DVD
It's the same, stupid romance you see in every film with a few pointless backup scenes to change it slightly enough to not be guilty of any sort of plagirism. (5/9/04)
Review: The Last Samurai DVD
While it falls perilously close to being Dances With Kimonos, Tom Cruise and Ken Watanabe rescue this fine film from mediocrity. (5/7/04)
Review: Peter Pan DVD
This film falls flat in the face of other versions of the tale that have come before. (5/7/04)
Review: Girl With A Pearl Earring DVD
Scarlett Johansson just adds to her growing status in Hollywood, with this film being part of an unusual trifecta of films in the last 8 months. (5/6/04)
Review: Honey DVD Plus Dance Movie Spectacular
Dance movies have begun to go hip hop, but they still haven't changed from the same old song and dance. This latest effort headed by Jessica Alba has some spark, but nothing new. Plus a look at classic dance movies of the past. (5/2/04)
Review: 13 Going On 30
It's a charming little gem of a movie even if you're not a 13 year old girl. Although that helps. (4/24/04)
Review: Kill Bill Vol. 2
Did Quentin Tarantino make the right move in splitting his epic tale of revenge into two halves with hardcore action on one side and hardcore dialogue on the other?(4/19/04)
Review: Goodbye, Lenin
Director Wolfgang Becker has composed an elegy to Socialism in his Goodbye, Lenin! Expecting a sidesplitting comedy based on previews, I was quite taken aback to find so unassuming and category-defying a film. (4/16/04)
Review: Walking Tall
The Rock stars in the second remake of a 1970's film based on a true story, but the true story is all but gone, even the name of the main character. Worse, the script can't decide what kind of film it is, and neither can The Rock decide what kind of actor he is. (4/16/04)
Review: The Ladykillers
Tom Hanks has never played a pure villain before, but he's just as good at it as he is in everything else when it comes to The Ladykillers. However, he's not enough to keep this film alive. (4/14/04)
Review: The Girl Next Door
From the premise to the soundtrack, it's hard not to imagine Tom Cruise and Rebecca DeMornay when watching this film; but that's doing it a disservice. Even rip-offs can be good, too. (4/13/04)
Review: Hellboy
The latest participant in the comic book to movie frenzy is a fine but disappointing popcorn flick. (4/3/04)
Review: Monsieur Ibrahim
An aging grocer befriends a wandering youth, and the whole world seems like it could be righted by simple acts of kindness and human connection. (4/2/04)
Review: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Nothing will erase this wonderful film from your mind. (3/27/04)
Review: The Statement
The Statement wastes both Norman Jewison’s intriguing setup and Michael Caine’s attractively sparse performance. (3/25/04)
Review: The Rundown DVD
The film coasts by on the strength of the clichés and on the bewildered charm of the Rock, who goes alternately from a stoic confidence to humorously bewildered. (3/23/04)
Review: Starsky & Hutch
Huggy Bear has some info for ya. The movie is damn funny. (3/8/04)
Review: Les Invasions Barbares (The Barbarian Invasions)
The winner of the 2004 Best Foreign Film Oscar is a must see, eh? (3/2/04)
Review: School of Rock DVD
Jack Black takes the Word of Rock to the kids in this silly comedy that seems like the Tenacious D's ode to the lost art of rock'n'roll. Unfortunately, like rock itself these day, it finds itself lost in it's own schizophrenia. (3/2/04)
Review: Eurotrip
A group of unknowns show that you don't need star power (except in cameos) to energize and motivate a very average comedy into an enjoyable time at the movies. (3/2/04)
Review: Welcome To Mooseport
Welcome to Mooseport... now get out! Our reviewer is unimpressed with this Ray Romano and Gene Hackman comedy. (2/25/04)
Review: The Passion of the Christ
This powerful film holds back nothing in its brutal yet moving depiction of Jesus' final hours. (2/24/04)
Review: 50 First Dates
Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore make googly eyes at each other once more in their second onscreen pairing. (2/17/04)
Review: The Triplets of Belleville
Don't take a bathroom break during this fun, but cruelly short animated film. (2/17/04)
Review: Thirteen
This realistic portrayal of teenage life is one of the best onscreen since My So-Called Life was on the air. (2/13/04)
Review: Miracle
The Rocky vs. Ivan Drago fight has nothing over this entertaining dramatization of the 1980 US Olympic hockey team win over the Russians.(2/10/04)
Review: Comic Book The Movie
He may have blown the Death Star, but Mark Hamill's new mockumentary blows harder than an Ewok performance of Hamlet. (2/10/04)
Review: G.I. Joe Season One Part One
The Greatest American Hero's classic afterschool cartoon series is awarded the Medal of Honor. (2/10/04)
Survivor All Stars Epsiode #1
They keep pulling them back in! Both Survivors and Viewers past return to a new season of the hit show. (1/30/04)
Review: Sex and The City - Episodes #88 & #89
Our Fangirl reviews the latest episodes from TV's most conservative series. (1/20/04)
Review: Shattered Glass
Now back in theatres after a short Central Valley run last year, this thrilling true life newspaper drama gets another chance. (1/17/04)
Review: The Cooler
Some guys just can't stop playing "cool" guys. William H. Macy just can't stop playing "uncool" ones, which adds up to his "coolest" performance in this lovable loser flick. (1/13/04)
Review: American Wedding DVD
The third film in the American Pie series lands on DVD, a medium one might think it was actually shot for. It doesn't do anything more than what we're conditioned to seek from a "Pie" film: gross out humor surrounding one wildly naked scene.(1/13/04)
Review: Underworld DVD
Few films get the Goth look as right as you get in Underworld. The dark imagery, plenty of Celtic and Renaissance architecture and symbolism, and lots of black clothes and hair falling just perfectly around faces. As for the story, well, at least it looks nice. (1/13/04)
Review: Escape From New York Special Edition DVD
Kurt Russel plays the most badass role of his career next to Captain Ron. (1/11/04)
Review: Cold Mountain
Nicole, Jude, and Renee go up the Cold Mountain and come a tumbing down. (1/1/04)
Review: 21 Grams
Nothing says holiday movie fun like Sean Penn and a heart transplant . (12/31/03)
Review: Return of the King
Better than Godfather 3! Peter Jackson triumphs again with the final installment in the groundbreaking Lord of the Rings Trilogy. (12/17/03)
Review: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen DVD
Sean Connery headlines a group of All-Star literary characters, but despite the fine source material for this story, it still manages to disappoint. On DVD, it becomes even less impressive.
Review: Freaky Friday DVD
Lindsay Lohan may very well have a career like a remake of Hayley Mills. Her undervalued talent saves an otherwise, you guessed it, Freaky Friday. (12/17/03)
Review: Big Fish
Without an ape in site let alone a Planet, Tim Burton gets back to where he once belonged and creates a beautifully eccentric gem of a film. (12/17/03)
Review: Honey
Dance movies have begun to go hip hop, but they still havenít changed from the same old song and dance. This latest effort headed by Jessica Alba has some spark, but nothing new. (12/17/03)
Review: Bad Santa
The most disgusting Christmas movie of all time. Except for that time you accidentally left the video camera at Grandma and Grandpa's. (12/16/03)
Review: Gigli DVD
Gigli took a rap as being one of the worst movies of all time, partly as the backlash against the media over-exposure of the Bennifer union of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. They were wrongly blamed, but this movie is still simply terrible. (12/16/03)
Review: Last Samurai
Tom Cruise is the cocky, charismatic hero who learns a life lesson by the final reel. Whoa, I never saw that one coming. (12/16/03)
Review: Two Towers Extended Edition DVD
A great movie just became an even greater movie. Get the full scoop on one of the classiest DVD releases of the year. (12/16/03)
Review: The Return of the King (Animated Movie)
In 1980 when this charming adaptation first appeared on TV, Burt Reynolds was the Number 1 Box Office star. Relive those fond nostalgic memories with a pre-Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings classic. (12/16/03)
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